Spirit of the Eagle

First Americans for Obama

I feel sick to my stomach. I feel like beating my head up against the wall. WHy? Because I am fighting this battle inside of me that is not allowing the outside of me to do what needs to be done.

I just re-joined Flylady.net to try and get my behind in gear to get a hold of the small parts of my home that are spiraling out of control. I am trying to find a way to break this all up so I don’t get overwhelmed, but the sheer magnitude of what I am facing is making me feel sick.

I want to be the super wife and super mom. I want to be Proverbs 31…bad!!! My inner self is fighting against the change to being productive every single day instead of giving in to my bouts of depression (like the one I’m in right now). I know that God is pushing my limits and boundaries, so that I can become that person I know He wants me to be, but my flesh is FIGHTING HARD against the change.

It’s not just about cleaning, it’s about organizing my life…my thoughts…my homeschool and doing everything “in decency and in order”.

I just saw on the news that a man has built a replica of Noah’s Ark complete with animals and a few modern amenities. I was taken aback at the massiveness of the ark. It’s not even to the same scale as the Bible describes and is so impressive in stature that it takes your breath away. Just imagine standing in the vicinity of this magnificent tribute to one of God’s great mysteries.

I am still waiting on my book to come. I ordered a few books before and after it and have already received them. I am sure it will be here by next Friday. Other than that, I am still waiting for the psychiatrist to call me about my appointment. You should read about why on my other blog.

You know, this Theory of Everything is really on my mind of late. I want to talk about the genius aspect for now. I have always despised the way that schools make children fit into a certain number of categories. They only take those *what are you good at* quizzes as fun things for career week. What about those children who are more left brained than right? How about vice-versa? I have always been a more artistic person. I only sometimes get a glimmer of smarts in mechanical things like math.

My genius lies in art, music, color, vision. I see in framed pictures and dream in technicolor scenes. I have a mostly photographic memory *which means I remember most things as seen, but not all LOL* My own talents lie in those things that people would dismiss as daydreams.
Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: Theory of Everything, genius

that has been somewhat of a philosophy for my life. It’s the Theory Of Everything. For years I have been professing the same general concept that the theory speaks about. I haven’t gotten into all the layers of the theory yet, though. My theory is that everything is co-centric, cohesive, and flows from one common spring. This basically says the same thing. The explanation of everything doesn’t have to be religious or scientific. It is what it is.

HEY My buddy Darren sent me a really neat little website today. You input your birthday and it comes back with a verse that corresponds to your birthday. Nice, no? Check out mybirthverse.com for yours.

ALSO I just upgraded all my blogs from Wordpress 2.0.6 to 2.1 with the help of my sister-twin Cass. Without her, this blog would have stayed a hot mess cuz somehow I screwed up the upgrade and she stuck by me the entire way through. I had to upgrade 4 blogs. She has published a guide on how to do it without pain, so check it out before you try to do it yourself.

I was reading about an unexpected hero this morning. The story was insightful. I was lead to think back into my own life and look for unexpected heroes that have come to my door. I have had a few.

When I was out there doing my thing, I had 2 men that tried to save me from my own demise. One got me out of the drug house the day before it got raided. The other got me away from my druggie boyfriend before he got violent. They were both in the game, as they say…and they both had hearts of gold. If Sky and Braheem ever read this, know that you were blessings in my life and you may not have even seen how.

My husband was also an unexpected hero. Before I was sure what would become of us, he took me out of a situation where I would have had to marry a man I didn’t love. He brought me a message to open my Bible, read the passage, and hear God’s voice. God told me I had to leave my relationship or there would be problems. My husband then went with me to tell the man it was over. Neither of us had any intentions on each other at that moment. It was a God thing…and I love him all the more for not trying to take advantage of the situation for his own gain.

I know there are more, but this page will never be able to contain all their stories.

Think back into your life. Do you have any unexpected heroes?

There will be a redesign of this layout, still simple but better…and not purple. Done except for minor tweaks and it’s not as purple as it was.

I will be posting about my heritage, spiritual matters, and whatever else I feel covers that side of my life. I hope that you will stick with me through the changes and transitions as I will do my best to portray what it’s like to be me with so much history.

I want you to know up front that I am NOT African American…not solely…

My heritage range is like this:

My great grandfather was Irish.
My great grandmother was Native American.
My grandfather was West Indian.
My grandmother was Native American.
My mother is West Indian, Native, and Irish.
My father is African American and Native.
I am Native, African American, West Indian, and Irish.
My husband is Puerto Rican.
Our son is Native, Puerto Rican, African American, West Indian, and Irish.

If you know about Puerto Rican history, they are also of African and Native decent.

Welcome to the proverbial Melting Pot.

The name of this journal comes from my stage name which I felt God give me in 2001. Jewel of the King…the King’s Jewel….King’z Jewel.

The actual name I will be writing under is my new name that I received just this past October. Spirit of the Eagle…you can find more information about that here. I have already been speaking on this subject within 3 other journals, but have decided that this will be the new resting place.

Lapich Knewell… *I will see you again*

my dad was in the hospital but is getting out tomorrow PTL! i am feeling rather touched. i was called gorgeous by some random stranger at mcdonalds today.

i had been feeling ugly and awkward about my hair and how i look with it, but that helped to make my day. then my hubby backed that up with how sexy and all that hubbystuff i am to him and it was very sweet. i still kinda feel weird with this hair color. i will post a pic when i get my NEW DIGITAL CAMERA in the mail in a few days im so excited. hey you look so familiar to me it’s really weird. i feel like we have met before. could have been in a dream. i have those kind of dreams from time to time. i wonder… anywayz i will update more soon. i have a WIC appt early and i should go to sleep now. want to know anything else read my other journal. link is in sidebar. GBU all.