Spirit of the Eagle

Perfect - a word that has haunted my very existence for as long as I can remember. Be perfect at singing. Be perfect in school. Be the perfect model citizen. Be the perfect wife. Be the perfect mother. Be PERFECT as your Father in Heaven is PERFECT (Matthew 5:48).

ACK! Shoot me now, because it will never happen!

At least, that’s what I thought. Man’s definition of perfect as opposed to what is meant by God are two totally different things. God is not asking for us to be impeccable in all we do. He is asking that we be whole, not lacking in anything spiritually or emotionally.

No one can really be perfect. We are all born with issues, we develop issues, we die with issues. The perfection we can attain is in being whole and worshiping God with our whole selves. This is the perfection to which I aspire, now that I know He didn’t mean without flaw.

See this explanation.

Oh Great Spirit, give me a vision for today. Let
me see truth. Let me walk in beauty. Let my heart guide me in truth.
The law says the truth shall set you free. Let me be free today.

If it were not for that one verse in that one book of the Bible, I don’t think there would be any issue as to whether or not women can be called to be pastors of the church.

Here you have one view where it states that women can be called ot be pastors: (Bible.com) and one that states women CANNOT be pastors mostly due to the one verse in the Bible (Carm.org).

I have personally been vexed by this question for longer than I care to admit. I know what God has called me to do, so I cannot speak for everyone else’s experience with the Lord. I would love to hear thoughts on this. There are convincing articles that go either way. The Holy Spirit has never impressed upon me that I should not speak or teach (ahem I did not say I was called to pastor FTR). I have always been called to open my big mouth and say what He would have me to say. As for pastors/elders and whatnot, I am still waiting for God to speak. In the mean time, what do YOU believe?

When it comes to things about my son, people tend to think that when I get a burden to pray for his safety or something like that, that I am just paranoid.

This morning, I happily dropped off my son at camp with a kiss and a prayer for his safety. It’s what I do every time he goes somewhere. Two days he has been in camp and I have done the same thing. Today… well today ended up being different. I did my usual kiss and a prayer thing, then went about my merry little way.

I decided to go do some shopping for me, so I headed off to the dollar store and Walmart without another thought. On my way back, I stopped off for gas. I have to drive past the Y to get home, but about 20 feet after I passed it I get this heaving burden to pray for SAFETY. All I can hear is the word repeated SAFETY and a picture of the bus *which I did NOT see this morning* in my head. I could barely drive home, the burden was so heavy. I had to get other people to pray with me for safety of the kids on the bus and the leaders, too. It wasn’t a specific OMG something about my kid prayer. It was about the bus full of people. The burden lasted a good half hour till whatever danger passed over them.

I have no doubt that they will return at 3:15 pm unscathed and happy, but you better believe that it’s due to the prayers of the righteous who stood in the gap and answered the call to pray this morning.

Elder’s Meditation of the Day - August 5

“It is a paradox in the contemporary world that in our desire for peace we must willingly give ourselves to struggle.”
–Linda Hogan, CHICKASAW

The Grandfathers have taught us about sacrifice. We have been taught to pray for the people in a pitiful way. Struggle and conflict is neither good nor bad, it just is. Everything that grows experiences conflict. When the deer is born it is through conflict. When the seed first grows, it is through conflict. Conflict precedes clarity. Everything has the seasons of growth. Recognize - acknowledge - forgive and change. All of these things are done through conflict.

Great Spirit, give me the courage today to see that struggle and conflict are here to teach me lessons that are a gift from you.

(Gino Bacchiocchi) Stand up for what you know to be God’s truth. The Lord will honor your commitment. Ultimately, what counts is not what people say about you, but what God thinks of you.

courtesy Bro.Leslie Turvey’s Short Stuff email

Exactly what I needed to read today. With the impending ministry, God knows this is an apt word.

I should be fine. I still keep finding that my insides are craving Chaos, but my head says that is how I got into this emotional mess to begin with. The emotional mess became physical and VOILA:

Immobilized.
Paralyzed.
Overwhelmed.
Defunct.

I cannot be like that anymore. I once thought I had it under “control” but that is so relative. Once the monster grows bigger, the cage begins to creak and one day that sucker breaks free to wreak havoc all over your life. He gets into your mindset, your relationships, and your productivity plummets. What can you do?

Sometimes it’s not enough to pray. We have to put our faith into action so God can meet us. If I never get off my butt, and God is standing at the end of the street right around the corner, how in the world will I ever get there?

And I am struggling with the fact that there HAS to be some sort of control…self-control. I have to control how things go inside me or else I will fail. Having an outer voice tell me what I need to do irks the living mess out of me, and that is exactly what I need to get back on track.

Today’s meditation speaks of the role model of medicine man. The person who has lots of wisdom in how to live as one with the Creator, but doesn’t go broadcasting his holiness to everyone. He just lives it. The more people see his holiness, the more they seek him out.

The prayer at the end says this:

Great Spirit, allow me this day to be humble. Allow me this day not to seek attention, but to live quietly and keep my focus and attention on serving You.

The best testimony we have is to live our lives as close to holy as we can, humbling ourselves in the presence of our Lord, who should be all around us at all times. We don’t leave church and leave Him there. This is my prayer today.

I feel sick to my stomach. I feel like beating my head up against the wall. WHy? Because I am fighting this battle inside of me that is not allowing the outside of me to do what needs to be done.

I just re-joined Flylady.net to try and get my behind in gear to get a hold of the small parts of my home that are spiraling out of control. I am trying to find a way to break this all up so I don’t get overwhelmed, but the sheer magnitude of what I am facing is making me feel sick.

I want to be the super wife and super mom. I want to be Proverbs 31…bad!!! My inner self is fighting against the change to being productive every single day instead of giving in to my bouts of depression (like the one I’m in right now). I know that God is pushing my limits and boundaries, so that I can become that person I know He wants me to be, but my flesh is FIGHTING HARD against the change.

It’s not just about cleaning, it’s about organizing my life…my thoughts…my homeschool and doing everything “in decency and in order”.

“People need to wake up. They can’t hear God’s voice if they’re asleep.” –Vernon Cooper, LUMBEE

Black Elk, a Sioux, talks about the hoop of many hoops. He says that above the people is a hoop, a conscience, the total belief of the people. If the hoop is sick, meaning dysfunctional, co-dependent, a lot of alcoholism, family abuse, violence, racism and sexual abuse, the people can get used to this and think this is normal. In other words, the people are asleep. If we have left the spiritual way of life, the people are asleep. If we are giving our power to another entity, the people are asleep. In most tribes, there are Coyote Clans. The job of the Coyote Clan people is to wake the people up. They need to become a nuisance and irritate the people. We must return to the spiritual walk.

Oh Great Spirit, keep me awake today. Let me hear the voices of our ancestors…let me hear the voices of the Grandfathers. Because everybody is doing it doesn’t make things right. Let me hear the truth today and become a coyote for the people. Give me the courage to be willing to be different. Let me walk straight on the Red Road.

I really needed to read this today. I have a huge task looming in front of me… a ministry that God has called me to…and I have to answer that call. I have to be the one to awaken the people who are asleep in their sins, asleep in their wrong thinking, and show them the glory of God. I have to be the one to show them that they can change. I have to be the example to show them that change is not just possible, but that this change is also desirable.